12 Days
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We can think of our brain quite simply as having 3 parts: (1) the REPTILIAN Brain (oldest part of our Brian), (2) The SENSORY/SOMATIC Brain (or Mammalian /Limbic System), and (3) The Neo-Cortex (Newest part of our Brain).

The primary task of the brain is self-protection, so the Reptilian Brain will always override the other parts.  It’s also important to know that the Reptilian Brain is at the base of the brain, so EVERYTHING has to go through that part first.

So – long story short – it’s important for all of us to learn strategies to deal with the Fight/Flight/Freeze response.  If we can learn to “regulate” these aspects, we can deal with our emotions much better! Ultimately, this will lead to increased self-awareness, social awareness, better decision-making, improved relationship skills, and overall, better self-management.

The term “mindfulness” is really overused these days, but it is truly invaluable.  Mindfulness is the conscious awareness of our current thoughts, feelings, and surroundings AND accepting these things with openness. Mindfulness allows us not to live in the past and get stuck in a state of wishing for a different or better past.  This often leads to depressed thoughts, feelings, and/or issues with mood.  Mindfulness also allows us to be more present with ourselves instead of becoming wrapped up in what might happen (and getting too far ahead of ourselves) in the future.  This often leads to anxiety.

We can’t change the past, nor do we have full control of the future. So, when we discover ways that we can become more mindful (instead of more mind FULL), we tend to feel better!  One way to do this, is simple…using our breath! So, if you have joined in these 12 days (or you’re just starting now), reflect (and perhaps write) about the times in life that you have been able to be most mindful, and perhaps the things that you will commit to yourself to become even more mindful about. (Perhaps the moments that you first greet your chil(ren) or spouse, or co-worker. Or speaking kindly to your inner critic like you would your best friend.

Depending on how we choose see things, we likely will see what we want to see.  If I see myself as a victim, I will more likely feel incapable and weaker.  If I see myself as resilient and a survivor, I will likely feel more empowered, strong, and able.  This is exactly why we refer to Little Warriors as “Warriors”! Truly, we often do not have control of many things in our lives.  But, we DO have control on how we define them (and how we define ourselves as a result).  Another great quote from Dr. Dyer to sum this up is “Loving people live in a loving world.  Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same World.” 

According to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), the way we feel is seen to be linked to the way(s) we think about something, and not simply about the situation itself. So, if we can learn to become mindful about our thoughts, we can target them to reduce negative thoughts and negative behaviors) to improve how we feel.   Many times, we can learn to challenge our “cognitive distortions” about our thoughts/attitudes/beliefs and assumptions that keep us tied in to problematic emotional and behavioral reactions.  Here are some CBT distortions to reflect on…what changes/challenges do you want to make for yourself?

There are a million ways that we can come to understand who we are – and, often, it is an ongoing process.  Of course we hear about terms like “introvert”, or “extravert”, or “Type A” personality, but we are so much more than these things.  Getting REAL with ourselves is a journey…and working WITH ourselves on this often is done best WITHIN our relationships.  In our therapy at the Little Warriors Be Brave Ranch, we sometimes talk with adolescents about the various ‘parts’ of ourself…what we see, what others see in us, how we believe or perceive that others see us, etc.

Looking at ourselves from different perspectives can definitely be interesting.  So, for today’s “gift”, perhaps consider the “Johari Window” for yourself. The Johari Window is a technique to support self-growth and self-awareness and it is based upon 2 things: (1) developing trust of others by revealing things about yourself, and (2) learning about yourself through feedback from others. To further discover and know yourself deeper, we can look at information what is KNOWN (the ‘open’ parts of ourself that we share) versus UNKNOWN to self (like our ‘blindspots’), and what is KNOWN to others versus NOT KNOWN to others.

Here’s a couple of exercises to ‘gift’ yourself:

(A)   Grab your journal and reflect on the 4 quadrants in the Johari Window.

(B)   Take some time and create and “About Me” poster or Vision Board. This can be done alone, with your significant other, friends, or your children! ENJOY:)